Have you ever wrestled with God? I've read the story so many times of Jacob wrestling all night with the Angel of the Lord, nice story, but until you actually are "on the mat" you really don't get it. I've been "on the mat" with the Lord for the past couple of weeks. It doesn't end until He gets you in a head hold and pins you to the floor. I'm finally there, head to the floor, weak from the battle, exhausted but exhilarated.
The wrestle began last week when I read a "thread" on a friends Facebook page. She NEVER posts, but when she did, she caused some controversial chatter. She was attacked by non-Christians who had done their Bible homework and neither she nor I were prepared for the onslaught. The discussion is too long and too detailed to play out here, but the "attackers" used Matthew 5:31 and 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 toward my friend who is divorced and remarried.
Now most of you know that prior to being born again, I was married and divorced twice. Two years after I was saved Jeff and I met and married. Only God could have orchestrated our meeting, courtship and marriage. We have built our almost 20 year marriage on the foundation of Jesus Christ. We love the Lord and try to live a life worthy of Him.
So I talked with two women, that I highly regard, who are spiritually sound and extremely knowledgeable of the Word. They agreed God did not agree with divorce or remarriage, but He is a God of grace and forgiveness. I accepted that and moved on.
Then I ran across a link to a John Piper website and as I perused the site I came to a Position Letter that he had written to his church concerning Divorce and Remarriage. http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/articles/divorce-remarriage-a-position-paper I was devastated. Was I really an adulterous in the eyes of God, am I really continuously living in a state of sin and am I a hypocrite to the highest by teaching the Bible to other women? GOD help me understand!
So the wrestling match began.
Finally with my head held to the floor by God himself I understood. The answers to all my questions were "No". I am forgiven, I am covered by God's grace, I am His and He is mine. BUT...... there was a plank in my eye that needed to be removed. Again, that was another familiar verse that I have read a hundred times and although I totally understood it, I never could really personally apply it to my life. Until now.
I have been so busy looking at the speck in other peoples eyes, concerned over their sin, wanting to expose their sin to themselves and others, that I didn't see the plank in my own eye. Who am I that I should judge? I am not better nor am I worse, and I have no right to judge others, that is God's position. I must let go and let God take care of the sins of others.
I can only hope that when He lets me up off the floor, I walk away with a limp that will serve to remind me every time I start looking at the speck, that my plank is bigger.
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